When You’re Fed Up with Your Sock Drawer
Think about the socks in the back of your sock drawer - the ones you never wear. They’re too tight, too loose, too worn, too ugly, too fally-downy, too impractical, too practical… they’re simply not your favorite socks. They take up space in your drawer, get in the way of your go-to’s, and quietly mock you when you’re frantically searching for a missing sock. You’re fed up with your sock drawer.
What to do? Dump out that sock drawer, and curiously ponder your unworn socks. Ask yourself, compassionately, “If I don’t wear those socks, why are they still in my drawer?” Just wonder about this… the point is to collect data, not to judge yourself.
Consider that every single one of the reasons you’re keeping things you don’t use is valid. As you identify each reason, extend understanding to yourself, like “Yep, that makes sense. I can see why I’ve been holding on to those socks.” The point of this exercise is not so much about getting rid of socks as it is about self-discovery.
Make a list of reasons you’ve been holding on to in-the-way socks. Here are a few I thought of, what would you add?
They’re really nice socks.
They were a gift.
I paid a lot of money for them.
I might wear them one day.
They remind me of a special person (or event.)
They’re in good condition.
I’ve just… always had them.
I don’t have time to sort through my socks.
They still have a lot of life in them.
I might run out of socks.
I have a sentimental attachment to them.
They’re for that hobby I used to have.
I simply haven’t decluttered my socks in a while.
Each of the reasons on your list is valid and has served you in some way at some time. Staying curious, consider each one and ask yourself “Does this reason still apply?” or “Is that reason relevant to my life right now?“
I said earlier that the point of this exercise isn’t necessarily to get rid of socks. But at this point, you may find that you’re clamoring to get some surplus socks out of that drawer. If you’re thinking “noooo those reasons do not apply anymore, “ remove those socks.
You likely have some crystal clear “yes, I do like that reason!” responses. Lovingly put those socks back in the drawer.
And there are probably cases where you feel… torn. Conflicted. Confused. How can you not want something and want something at the same time? Because you’re human. Try this: kindly inquire “Will my home be more ______ with or without these socks?” Fill in the blank with a descriptor that encompasses how you want your home to feel. (Read more about this here and here.) Keep your vibe free of pressure and full of self-compassion as you picture a life without those socks. Then act accordingly, removing socks that don’t fit with your desired home vibe and lovingly putting away the ones that do.
It really can be this simple. I wrote this about your sock drawer because socks can be a relatively straightforward, neutral place to practice decluttering with self-compassion. But this approach is universal: replace “sock drawer” with “closet” or “pantry” or “mugs” or “tool shelf”... any spot in your home that makes you cringe. If you want to feel less icky about that spot, get curious and name the reasons that you’re keeping items you don’t use. Kindly ask yourself if the reasons still apply, and when you’re not sure, consider whether that thing contributes to how you want your home to feel.
And sometimes… it’s not so simple. There are bound to be plenty of scenarios where you have a strong reason for keeping an item… and a desire not to keep the item… all at the same time. It’s normal to feel conflicted about what to do with items. Give yourself permission to keep such items for now… and stay tuned: I’ll talk more about challenging decisions in future posts.
What’s your top reason for keeping things you don’t use?
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