Your Home, Your Identity
Our homes are tied to how we identify ourselves. If we routinely judge ourselves for how we care for our homes, statements like “I’m a slob,” “I’m bad at this,” and “I’m overwhelmed” are as commonplace as they are unhelpful.
We can choose not to identify with such statements… but it takes intention and practice. Getting curious about how you want your home to support you can help pull out self-talk that feels supportive. This benefits your relationship with your home… and your relationship with yourself.
Do some brainstorming about how your home and your identity intersect in ways that feel supportive, joyful, or authentic to you. How do you want your home to contribute to what really matters to you?
Create identity statements that capture how your home supports your priorities. Make your statements declarative, and in the present tense. You may be tempted to use wording such as “I want,” “I wish,” or “I like it when.” Nope, that’s not what this exercise is about. Keep it in the present tense and boldly declare who you genuinely are. This is not about the state of your home at this moment - it’s about your authentic self.
Here are some examples. Do any of them feel like you? Create some of your own!
I am someone who…
gives myself a peaceful place to rest after a busy day.
feels stimulated by a colorful environment.
hosts game night every month.
uses what I have before buying more.
puts on fancy dinner parties.
values comfort.
adores collecting _______.
thrives in routine.
goes with the flow.
feels at home in a cozy space.
loves sparse decor.
enjoys having friends stop by.
cleans/declutters when I feel like it.
prioritizes sleep over cleanliness.
has family get-togethers.
encourages the creative endeavors of my kids.
seeks balance in all things.
How about you? I am someone who _______.
Write your statements down and post them prominently. Repeat your statement daily. Journal about it. When that old negative self-talk creeps in, greet it, excuse it, and use your identity statements instead. Your home supports your true self.
If this post resonated with you, my Spring Cleaning with Self Compassion program may be a great fit for you. If you’d like to explore this with me, book an introductory session. Introductory sessions are free, and give us a chance to chat about your goals, my approach to coaching, and find out if we’re a good match. I’d love to meet with you!