Planning Ahead for Goal Obstacles
During a goal journey, encountering a bump - or a full on obstacle - in the road is normal. Planning for things to not go perfectly and equipping yourself with self-compassion gives you resilience to navigate the inevitable bumps and continue on your way.
Ask yourself these question about your goal:
How is perfectionism showing up here? Have you created a goal for a perfect robot version of yourself, or for a real-live human being with a sometimes messy and unpredictable life? When in doubt, make the goal easier, shorter, simpler - you can always add to it down the road.
What excuses am I likely to make? Let’s approach the topic of excuses with humor and lightness! Excuse-making is a funny thing our brain does to keep us comfy and safe. It thinks it’s helpful; however, it tends to exaggerate and mislead. That’s OK! You can help it out by preemptively listing all your likely excuses. Grab a pen & paper, and jot them all down - “I’m too tired,” “I don’t have enough time,” “I don’t feel like it,” “The kids need me,” and so on. When you encounter these excuses during your goal journey, acknowledge them with a friendly nod and say “Thanks, Bud, but I’m pushing through anyway.” Give yourself a high-five, and take the first step towards your goal.
What tools and resources will help me stay engaged? Do you benefit from having an accountability buddy or coach? Do you need some little treats along the way? Can you enlist a few cheerleaders?
How will I manage goal pauses? Situations like illness, family needs, and schedule changes will arise, and simply pausing, then restarting your goal isn’t always as straightforward as you’d think. Some of us perceive goal pauses as failure, as though not fully committing to our goal means we may as well drop it altogether. This is a common reason for abandoning a goal. To counter this all-or nothing thinking, imagine yourself intentionally pausing your goal to handle other matters. Then, envision yourself easily resuming your goal post-pause, congratulating yourself for handling the goal pause/unpause with finesse.
How will I treat myself when I inadvertently take a break? When progress towards a goal slows or stops, it’s common to fall into negative self-talk. In fact, our fear of how we’re going to talk to ourselves can be intense enough that we might not even attempt the goal. Read that again!
What if you decided that you’re not going to bully yourself if you lose goal momentum? Imagine doing your goal for a week, then stopping. A few days later, you realize you haven’t done your goal. Without your inner critic piping up, how do you talk to yourself?You could explore with curiosity - “I wonder why I stopped?”, “Seems like my initial goal isn’t quite right, how could I adjust it?”, “I wonder what tools/support I need so I can keep doing this thing that I really want to do?”
You could invoke self-compassion - “Establishing a new habit is a tall order! No wonder I lost track of it”; “Last week had its challenges, but I handled them well, and now I can refocus on my goal”; “I forgot to do my goal for a few days - how human of me!”
You could simply declare a reset. “I stopped, and now I’ll start.”
How can I be intentional about breaks?
Plan ahead. Get out your calendar, and note the days that you will work on your goal and the days that you won’t.
Build in rest days. Be realistic - especially if you have perfectionistic tendencies.
Take spontaneous breaks with intention. Telling yourself “I’m going to enjoy this day off from my goal” feels very different than “I know I shouldn’t flake, but…”
Check in with yourself regularly - how’s your pace? Do you need a break?
Obstacles are a normal part of a goal journey. By planning for things to be imperfect, you prepare yourself to roll with the punches and maintain momentum towards what’s important to you.
I’m hosting a Two Week Tiny Goal Challenge - a special round with the theme “Making Space for ME”. We’re talking all things Spring Cleaning, home care, and self-compassion. Come join us in the free group.